A prayer for slowing down

-


Hurry-

the carbon dioxide

in my heart

toxic, invisible, deadly.

Lord, rid me

of striving and perfection

that feel attainable

only by the rushed pursuit

of endless activities.


A slow leak of a lie:

You must try harder, hold tighter.

You’ll never

be enough

do enough

have enough.


Enough

time

money

resources

peace

comfort

love

joy


Even in my worthy pursuits

of family, church, home, community-

I feel the quiet poison of hurry

sucking the pure air of my lungs

leaving me breathless, anxious, gripped.


I choose now

to slow

stepping out of these confines

into the fresh air of your mercy.

I open wide the windows of my heart

for the gracious wind of your Spirit

to move now and cleanse me.


Lord, fill me.

Better than the patching of a leak

you give new wineskins brimming

for a feast laid out on 

a spacious table-

the altar of your love.


You whisper-

come, eat, rejoice

leave your worries at my feet

be nourished by my love

rest in the security of my sacrifice

the work is finished


You are enough

You are beloved

You are mine


____________________________



As soon as I decided I was going to share this poem prayer, I began to mull over a photo to go along with it. I happened to be baking sourdough bread that day as well and had the happy epiphany that a photo with the communion elements on our table would bring to life the “Lord fill me” stanza. I imagined clearing off all the mess to take a simple, beautiful photo until I realized my dilemma. My son had constructed an elaborate structure of building blocks on our table and I had promised him he could leave it there until dinner- the moment we would devour the bread and any chance for a photo of it would be gone. 


With a 10 month old who is into everything, the older kid’s activities have migrated to the kitchen table. We do not have a playroom or second living space or even second table downstairs. Most of the time, we are pushing aside markers, scissors, play dough, and puzzles to make room for plates, forks, and cups. I confess that many times this can subtly annoy me wishing I either had a better organizational system, kids who were more diligent at cleaning, or a second space to spread out the toys. But in his mercy, God brought a new image to mind. 


Bread and juice laid on my table exactly how it was. His mercy and grace lavished at my crumb-strewn, disheveled table. (Truly, I only moved these items a tiny bit to get them all into the picture, but they were all on my table at the same time.) The focus on his sustenance and everything at the periphery. This is the feast God has laid before me complete with sticky fingers, silicone bibs, and brightly colored cups brimming with milk. And it is good. Very good. A land flowing with milk and honey. Quite literally.


What is on your table? Maybe it’s not bibs and blocks, but sports equipment and water bottles. Or a laptop filled with emails. Or to-do lists. Or kid’s homework. Or stacks of mail. Or less exciting things like bills or medicine. In the midst of the good- and even in the things we desperately wish were different- he is gently pursuing us, showing us his infinite mercy in the chaos and joy of this life. 


Maybe photos of my messy table will help you see the good laid our on yours. Our tables, our lives, our jobs, our families, our hopes are all different. But the same God is laying out a feast if only we have eyes to see it. Slow down. Sit awhile. Taste and see that the Lord is good at your table, in your home, in your life- as it is right now. 


____________________________



P.S. If you enjoy written prayers and poems, I can’t recommend enough Every Moment Holy. There are three volumes out. We just got the third volume which released in November. I have been savoring those prayers and hence feeling inspired to write my own!


_____________________________





This one might be my favorite of the bunch. I was taking photos, backed up, and noticed my little one sitting there.



I also loved this one above. I didn't move a single item for it- even the walker smack in the middle of my floor. One of the things I love about photography is how simply walking around- backing up or going closer- can drastically change your perspective of the scene and bring new meaning and joy to it. 


Also- If you want to have new posts come straight to your email, subscribe here (or click the menu tab in the left hand corner and enter your email in the subscribe box).

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